I´m off for a break - back end July

My daughter wrote on my mother´s day card that my favorite thing is sitting at the computer. It´s not. But with my studies I required a computer. We put it in the kitchen to save on heating costs and make it more accessible. As a result, I find it so cosy to log on at breakfast to read the news, lunch to see who wrote to me, dinner to pay the bills........ The last few weeks my mind has been filled with impossible assignments (gone are my dreams of a 90% average) and next week is my last exam for this semester. But then I have decided to take a break from the computer and give myself back to my girls. Looking at them instead of just talking to them while I am reading something. Go into their cubbyhouses instead of turning around and telling them how lovely it is. To help them make their puzzles rather than telling them to sit next to me and make it themselves. To read to them instead of telling them to read and make up stories with each other. All those things I used to do with my Sweetheart. I feel so guilty that I have so much less time for Herzie. Not just becaúse I now have 2 children so washing and cleaning has increased, but also now I am working (4 hours a week) and studying that I am not available so much, not just physically but often my head is gone. I justify it by saying that Herzie has all the benefit of the time I spent with Sweetheart when they play together. I try to restrict my study to nighttime when the girls are in bed. But it is the bad habits that have arisen that make me feel guilty. Like this blog, for example. Even though it is of benefit to me, it doesn´t do much for them other than having me whinge less with their father about things that frustrate me. So, I´m going to take a break and spend more time with my girls until Uni starts again (end July). No more news, no more blogs, no more catching up with friends. Nothing. But I will come back with all the stories that have accumulated in my head since then.......