I had it all planned out before they were born. My girls (as I was sure that they would be girls) would be dressed in non-sexist colours. There would be no gender differentiation. They would be encouraged to explore all aspects of themselves, including the masculine tendencies to have no fear, be muddy and dirty, and realise that a girl can do everything a boy do can if they want to. I brought all the feminist story books such as Princess Smartypants and The Paperbag Princess. They will have tractors and trucks as well as toys such as dolls to encourage role playing. I did not buy any Barbies which suscribe to unattainable notions of beauty for women. My girls would be brought up to value education and learning, books, the beauty of nature and life, creativity, honesty and sensitivity. They would aim to be independent and not rely on another person unless they wanted to. They would be brought up to be able to have choices in life. There was no way it could fail with all this planning, could it??????????As you can see, some things are out of your hands. If it doesn´t have pink or glitter on it, is not a skirt or a dress, my girls refuse to wear it. It held out until kindergarten for Sweetheart that I could influence her choices in a sense, but the power of peer pressure lost out. So quick does the second fall. My little Herzie was lost from the moment she could put her own opinion across. Glitter. Pink. Barbie (oh yes, guess what every girl receives as a present in this village). They play Princesses and Wicked Witches. They play Fairies who are so beautiful and need to be rescued by Princes. Sweetheart insists that she has to be the Princess as she has the most pink dresses and a Princess has to be the prettiest. They play Weddings as everyone has to get married and have lots of babies and stay at home until they work in a supermarket (and unfortunately Sweethearts favorite game is McDonalds. Guess what else she is deprived of?) Herzie is an expert in putting on lipstick (age 2). The dress-up-princess-dresses are so glamorous they must be worn shopping, to visit friends in, birthday parties. Where did I go wrong? I think my mistake is thinking that children can be brought up with the strongest influence being within the home. Maybe some day they will realise the values I have instilled, but in the meantime, I live with my two Princesses, who I love to pieces.
2 comments:
I always thought my child would not wear make up. What can I say? Guess who wants make up for her 4th birthday?
(Monet has that same Pumpkin Patch dress too - love it!)
As they get older, perhaps my parents' approach might work - mercilessly mocking stereotypical females (or whatever else you want to discourage). The trick is mocking other people, and not your kids. :)
My parents were pretty good at it. I am hoping to employ this tactic as they get older. :)
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