Sunday, May 11

There are Kangaroos in Austria

When I lived in Australia I think I ingested the Cultural Cringe. I was cooler than other Australians. I read Oscar Wilde. Bridget Riley was my art inspiration. I could imagine myself sitting by the Seine reading philosophy (although I wouldn´t actually go to Paris as that was such a cliche´ and I was too cool for that). Australia of the 80's was Paul Hogan and Olivia Newton-John. I just didn´t relate. I was Europe. I was international. I definitely wasn´t Australian.

It didn´t help that my father was Austrian. When I worked in a restaurant, people used to comment that I had the cutest accent; ' oh yes, my father comes from Austria'. I was sent to school with black bread and poppy seed cakes. Others had white and chocolate. I was the Wog before people knew what a Wog was. I was different. I didn´t fit in. Other children weren't allowed to visit me. I was an alien. Foreign. Suspect. People didn´t understand in those days. Maybe this inspired me. Discover where I belong.

But now I live in Austria and I have discovered that I am not Austrian. I don´t understand them. I don´t understand their jokes. They aren´t funny. I don´t like the food. The country is too small. The beer tastes funny. There is no Tooheys Old. Why is everyone so conservative and why do they have so many traditions? Oh, they go back hundreds of years? But I come from Australia, we reinvent everything, we do things differently. In Australia you can get food from every Nationality, not just this Austrian thing you call food I don´t like. In Australia, people laugh at my jokes. In Australia you drive 2 hours to get to work, not to drive out of the country. What, you don´t understand what I say? I´m sorry, but I am Australian.

Since coming to Austria, I think I have become the Über Australian. The Australian flag flies outside every Australian day. I have the Australian flag and Bundy Rum stickers on my car. I bake lammingtons and pavlova. And I actually eat them. My children can recite every Bananas In Pyjamas episode. We all have Blood stones,Driza Bones and Akubras. I have didgeridoos and boomerangs. Original Aboriginal art. Priscilla and Muriel. We only drink Hardys (which is cheaper than in Australia). My father has made me a stained glass window with the ocean so I can look at it every day. On the other one is a flowering gum. Kitchen tiles I made myself with Australian native flora and forna. On my list of things to do is make a Ned Kelly letter box as per the instructions in the Better Homes and Gardens (which I subscribe to). I even have a Eucalyptus tree in the backyard (which has to be in a pot to be brought inside so as to survive the winter). There is a Kangaroo in Austria.

1 comment:

Iris Flavia said...

Oh, seesh! Do you feel at home in either place at all?
Do you plan to stay in Austria? Did you grow up with both languages?
Where did you live in Australia?
OK! I stop teh questions now!!

I read "Dear Germany" from Carol Kloeppel (maybe you know her husband Peter Kloeppel from RTL news?) - she is American and wrote about the differences in culture and such, too funny!

Btw, my Dad´s sister is called Ingrid (yips, I could say my Aunt. But... I don´t like her and never had much contact).